Reasons To Use A Jewish Dating Service
The reason why young Jewish singles use a Jewish dating service is the same for all dating services in general: it’s not easy these days to meet a potential partner. After all, when you’ve exhausted the book and hobby clubs or the nightclubs, where else can you go? You’re likely forbidden from dating coworkers, even though you might spend long hours at work, so it’s not a very fruitful field. So in the same way that finding dating partners is difficult for the general populace, Jewish singles dating can be equally challenging.
But there are other motivations for using a Jewish dating service, one being the cultural connection. While it’s true that people of many ethnic and cultural groups date and intermarry, sometimes it is an absolute must to find a partner who has a similar heritage. There is also the extra complication of religion, perhaps more than for other ethnic groups. So you will even find Orthodox Jewish singles using these dating services to find partners.
Many Jewish dating services websites are explicit about their goals for cultural and spiritual connections. Note the www.urbantraditional.com tag line, “Putting Traditional Jewish Values Back Into Jewish Dating.” The site recognizes that religious commitments differ, so it caters to traditional, Orthodox, Conservative, or unaffiliated young people. The website www.jewishcafe.com appears to be more relaxed, yet it too assures its users that “everyone on the site is from the same culture as you.” Then there is the Jewish dating service, Nice Jewish Singles (www.nicejewish.com), which deliberately plays on the cultural stereotype of the Jewish mother admonishing her son to marry a “nice Jewish girl.”
Singles also must be concerned, unfortunately, with security issues on Jewish dating sites. At www.urbantraditional.com, users are informed that “All new members are screened by our staff for authenticity.” Security might be more of a worry on Jewish services than on others. It’s undoubtedly behind the fact that www.jdate.com notifies users that it “does not conduct background checks on the members or subscribers of this website.” The security question is just one reason for using a Jewish dating service, along with the problem of time and having the opportunity to meet other singles. But what these services do is help young people find dates in a controlled manner, knowing that they share certain cultural standards and beliefs.
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Jewish Singles Finding Each Other
Jewish singles sometimes need a way to find and connect with each other, if their goal is to meet and partner with someone who has a similar world view and culture. In a fast-paced world where it’s often difficult to find the time to meet anyone at all, not to mention those who share the same heritage and outlook, sometimes a person needs a little help. In past times, their parents might have gone to a matchmaker, but for most people, those days are long gone. Now a young person might look for help from Jewish dating services, planned events or even business interactions.
The internet has opened a whole new avenue of opportunity in the last decade or so. Jewish dating sites allow you to place your information online and scrutinize the personal info of others on the same sites, with the hope of connecting with someone who sounds interesting and appears to have a similar cultural world view. Jewish chat sites provide a safe place to converse and get to know each other to some extent, before a face-to-face meeting ever takes place. Using online sites such as these, people can begin to get in touch with those they might otherwise have never met.
But there are other avenues for Jewish singles to peruse. For example, travel sites that cater to young Jewish people might offer “kosher cruises,” or provide tours to other parts of the world. Some have special trips for older singles as well. Other kinds of face to face meetings, like speed dating events, help to bring Jewish people into each other’s orbits. And Jewish business groups, film and book clubs, and similar organizations provide further opportunities to meet people outside of an obvious dating context.
Jewish singles, paradoxically, might have more ways of meeting each other these days than they’ve ever had before, despite the busy pace they must keep in their everyday lives. While they still have the more traditional face-to-face ways of getting together that they had before, now they can add things like Jewish online dating or speed dating. While previously they might have been limited mostly to people closer to home, now they can meet people from other states and other parts of the world too.
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Can JDate com Pull Enough Weight?
For several years, JDate com (www.jdate.com) was one of the best sites for Jewish singles to place their online profiles and meet others of a similar background and outlook. But this site is one that has recently seen a falling off of subscribers, causing a reduction in profits for the site owner, Spark Networks, in the first two quarters of 2009. Spark owns an array of relationship websites, including www.americansingles.com, www.christianmingle.com, and many other sites for ethnic and social groups. But it’s the Jewish dating site www.jdate.com (situated in the United States, the UK, France and Israel), along with www.jewishmingle.com, that carry most of the weight when it comes to the financial health of the company.
The reason for the reduction of profits from www.jdate.com and the other Jewish personals dating sites might stem partly from the economic downturn that has affected much of the world in recent months. Yet that can’t be the whole story, since all of the other networks, including www.americansingles.com, www.catholicmingle.com, and so on, turned a slight profit. So perhaps there was a flaw inherent in the Jewish dating internet sites themselves that contributed to their losing subscribers and, therefore, income for the company.
This is likely the case. JDate com, while beloved by many people, had been regarded as rather “clunky” for some time. It was possible that if people started thinking of cutting expenses here and there in response to the slow economy, then membership on a website that was harder to navigate than others might have ended up on the list. This is what Spark Networks appears to believe, since it rolled out a “face lift” for www.jdate.com just in time for the summer of 2009. The site now includes a more modern design, enhanced search features, a blog, a video section and new profile pages.
Spark Networks CEO Adam Berger frankly admits that even with the small profits turned by all the other dating websites owned by the company, the Jewish online dating sites still bring in the “lion’s share” of the profits. So while the company can be pleased that the other sites are contributing to the income of Spark Networks, it’s obviously imperative for them that the Jewish sites continue to pull their weight. With the recent revamping of the JDate com site, the company clearly hopes that its fortunes will turn around again.
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New Ways of Dating Jewish
It’s been a dilemma for some in the Jewish singles dating world. How to meet and date people, form relationships, and eventually marry, while making sure they are dating Jewish people with whom cultural approaches and lifestyles are compatible. Most people in society are now used to the concept of speed dating, but not everyone realizes that the idea was originally created by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo as a way to help young Jewish people meet and marry. This type of event has augmented other relationship help methods for Jewish young people, such as online dating services.
When you remember that the original purpose of speed dating was so that Orthodox Jewish singles could meet, it’s surprising to realize that this method was considered so modern and even revolutionary. With personal ads being thought of as questionable not too long ago, even for people with a more open lifestyle, speed dating might seem to go several steps farther and be too unusual a method for very conservative young people who are interested in dating Jewish partners. Yet in modern society, people’s cultural values aren’t automatically indicated by the circles they travel in, and time is often a constraint, so perhaps new methods of meeting possible mates are required.
Speed dating has been adopted by the world in general, but it’s one of the methods Jewish young people still use. Other Jewish dating services have developed with the growth of the internet, so Jewish singles can enter their personal data and view the data of others, initiating some sort of contact if they find someone who seems interesting. Or some sites suggest potential matches for them, and they can decide if they want to pursue contact with any of those people. While the online method is now a large component in most partner searches, there are still non-internet-based Jewish singles events, and a speed dating event is just one of the possibilities available.
In a way, one might regard these online dating sites and speed date events as new versions of the more traditional Jewish matchmaking. After all, what did a matchmaker do except try to correlate characteristics between the prospective bride and groom? The criteria might once have been different, possibly based more on economics and utility than on matching personalities. But modern ways of dating Jewish partners may now be adapting the old matchmaking methods to put people together not just for economic and practical reasons, but based on personality, culture and values as well.
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Jewish And Catholic Dating
It’s interesting how modern dating services have influenced each other in recent years. With Catholic dating sites growing out of Jewish ones, and evangelical Christian sites creating services for people of other faiths, everyone seems to feed off of everyone else’s experiences. For example, it was a Rabbi who invented speed dating a few years ago, to help conservative Jewish young people find each other. Yet now you can go to a speed dating site and find links to dating events for Buddhists, divorced people, and other religious or secular groups. Jewish online dating sites borrow methods from Christian ones, and so it goes.
One thing that many of these services have in common, though, is a pragmatism that some religious people might find disturbing. Jewish dating sites are often co-owned by those promoting similar sites for different religious groups. Someone hoping to find a life partner who shares the same deep commitment to a religious faith that they do might be skeptical if they see that the same company that owns their favorite Jewish site also operates a Muslim, Mormon and Catholic dating site. Someone who views their religion as the “true way” might not be inclined to trust a company that puts their religion on exactly the same footing as everyone else’s, as though they were interchangeable.
Let’s take two examples. The www.whispy.com website’s Cultural Creative Web Directory tries to promote creative, helpful sites in all categories. On their “Religious Dating” page they have Mormon and Jewish dating sites listed right alongside Buddhist and Christian websites. What would an evangelical Christian or a devout Catholic make of that? Another set of sites isn’t as broad in its religious sweep, but includes www.jewishmingle.com, www.christianmingle.com, and www.catholicmingle.com. Some people resent the fact that the Catholic site isn’t considered part of the “Christian” one, while others don’t think the Catholic site is nearly Catholic enough.
Since many young singles are now trying to broaden their scope and use the internet to find each other, a big business opportunity has arisen. But when it comes to Catholic dating or other religious sites, many might be forgiven for thinking that the business opportunity is considered much more important than the religious principles. For the devoutly religious person, who doesn’t consider their religion interchangeable with others, it may be questionable, not to mention objectionable, that a Jewish dating site could be linked right next to Islamic, Christian, Buddhist or lesbian sites.
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