She’s gorgeous. Even better, she thinks you’re the cat’s meow. You asked her to dinner at your place. She said, “yes.” Minutes later, you go into panic. You remember your last cooking misadventure and what burning food in the oven smells like. Should you call her now for a change in plans? Should you go get your cigar flask now and drink until you pass out so you can forget about your problem? Don’t. With the help of your flask and these tips, you can survive cooking for that all-important first date. More importantly, she will survive the meal.

Appetizer
Girls are always on a diet so you can’t go wrong with greens. Buy a bag of pre-made salad. Dump all of it into a fancy china and serve alongside a cute container with salad dressing.

Main Course
Keep the main course simple. Trust me, she does not need a miracle, only something edible. Know how to make pasta? Serve it. If you can’t cook to save your life, ask a female friend for help. Once she’s done giggling, she can teach you a dish you can whip up yourself. Or, if she’s really helpful, she will make it herself and all you have to do is put it in the oven at the right time. Don’t forget to use those oven mitts. They only look silly for a minute or two - a third degree burn looks silly for a long time.

Dessert and Drinks
This is where you can impress her. Get a tiramisu or an apple pie from the bakery. Get your cocktails from elsewhere but be sure to transfer the beverage into your flask. Once you whip that flask up and casually ask, “Wanna try a really great cocktail?”, she will assume you made it. What woman doesn’t love a really good cocktail and a man who can make one? When the chips are down and all you can come up with is a badly burnt steak, you can count on your flask to save your date.

So you sail through the meal and she smiles at you looking happily sated. Do not take this as an invitation to spill confessions. She need not know you got your flask from a shop that sells cheap groomsmen gifts or that you once were the state’s spelling bee champion. These confessions would only ruin the moment - if you are, indeed, having one.

So there - you have no need to panic. There is a way to get through the meal with the kitchen and your date intact. A word of advice to the wise, though - do not promise your date a five-star experience unless you can deliver. If you do and fail, the one and only action you’ll be seeing is that blur of movement she makes as she heads for the fire extinguisher.

Tags: Food and Drink