Many women feel uncomfortable with female masturbation, even though its common, normal, and healthy. Sex researchers Edward O. Laumann et al. find that about 1/2 of women and men who masturbate feel guilty. They state, "Masturbation has the peculiar status of being both highly stigmatized and fairly commonplace."
Women are less encouraged to be sexual than men, so they don't often explore their bodies. Masturbation can help you be happier, love your body and feel more fulfilled. Read on for three tips on overcoming guilt and shame about female masturbation, so you can live your sex life to the fullest.
(1) Learn the facts about masturbation.
Female masturbation is as healthy for you as eating your fruits and vegetables. According to sex educators Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller, women who masturbate are more likely to have orgasms, and orgasm more easily from masturbation than any other sex act. Women who have orgasms while masturbating tend to orgasm with their partners more often.
Female masturbation lowers stress, increases relaxation, and even helps menstrual cramps. Using the pubecoccal (PC) muscles, the ones that quiver and contract in orgasm, leads to more sexual pleasure, reduces the risk of incontinence, and aids in childbirth. Female masturbation is your best option for safe sex - you can't get pregnant or give yourself an STD!
(2) Identify your beliefs about masturbation and sex in general. Humans are naturally social - we learn from each other and can pick up one another's values without realizing..
We learn how to be from many places - family, religion, and the media are just a few. You may have learned that only sluts, whores, and nymphomaniacs practice female masturbation, or that masturbation is generally sinful or addictive.
Sexual beliefs can also be shaped by experience, especially physical, mental, or emotional trauma. Unsupportive beliefs about female masturbation and sex in general can be fueled by sexual abuse, being caught masturbating, a bad trip to the gynecologist, or even having your sexual secrets told.
(3) Banish negative beliefs and instead create positive ones. Dream up your ideal sex life, and imagine how your body would feel, how you would masturbate, and what you might fantasize about if you felt free to indulge. Relax and FEEL how different your life would be if this were your reality.
Make an affirmation that reflects one aspect of this ideal sex life. Sure, its cheesy, but go with it. If you're like most people, you say negative things to yourself all the time. Choosing ONE nice thing won't kill you, will it?. Some examples: I love my body, masturbation is awesome, I am sexy, I am safe, I am free, I love myself.
Affirmations work similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy. The mind likes to be congruent with your behavior. The more you say your affirmation and feel it in your body, your mind will begin finding ways to make it real. You'll see yourself acting differently and liking masturbation more.
It might feel silly, because you probably won't believe it yet. That's fine, it'll come in time. Say it to yourself - preferably aloud (a whisper is better than nothing) - once in the morning and throughout the day. If you feel uncomfortable during masturbation, use your affirmation to remember why you're there.
You might feel overwhelmed at first, and your sex life won't change overnight. It is best to pair healing your mind and body simultaneously. In time, you will heal shame and guilt over female masturbation to have a better sex life, alone and with a partner.
Want sex tips and information that's real, raw, and unfiltered?? Read more about how to let go and enjoy female masturbation at Kelsey Education
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