Even though female masturbation is common, normal, and healthy, many women don't feel comfortable. Sex researchers Edward O. Laumann et al. find that about 1/2 of females and males who masturbate feel guilty. They state, "Masturbation has the peculiar status of being both highly stigmatized and fairly commonplace."
Women explore their bodies less than men because they are not encouraged to be as sexual. Masturbation can help you be happier, love your body and feel more fulfilled. Read on for three tips on overcoming guilt and shame about female masturbation, so you can live your sex life to the fullest.
(1) Learn the facts about masturbation.
Female masturbation is as good for you as eating your fruits and veggies. Sex educators Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller find that women who masturbate are more likely to have orgasms, and orgasm more easily from masturbation than any other sex act. Women who have orgasms while masturbating tend to orgasm with their partners more often.
It lowers stress, promotes relaxation, and even helps menstrual cramps. You will have more sexual pleasure, less risk of incontinence, and easier childbirth by using the pubecoccal (PC) muscles, the ones that quiver and contract during orgasm. Since you won't get pregnant or catch an STD, female masturbation is the safest sex you can have!
(2) Identify the beliefs you hold about masturbation and sex more generally. Human beings are social creatures - we learn about life from one another, and can carry values of others without even realizing.
Religion, media, and family obviously give us messages about how to be. You may have learned that only sluts, whores, and nymphomaniacs practice female masturbation, or that masturbation is generally sinful or addictive.
Our experiences also shape sexual beliefs, especially physical, mental, or emotional trauma. Unsupportive beliefs about female masturbation and sex in general can be fueled by sexual abuse, being caught masturbating, a bad trip to the gynecologist, or even having your sexual secrets told.
(3) Replace unsupportive sexual beliefs with positive ones. In your ideal sex life, imagine how would you masturbate, what sensations would be enjoyable, and what fantasies would you indulge? Don't just think about it, but relax and FEEL what this reality would be like.
Create an affirmation reflecting one part of your ideal sex life. Yes, its cheesy, but give it a try. If you're like most people, you say negative things to yourself all the time. Choosing ONE nice thing won't kill you, will it?. For example: masturbation is awesome, I love my body, I am safe, I am sexy, I am free, I love myself.
Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, affirmations change your reality. Your mind likes to be in sync with your behavior. When you repeat your affirmation and feel that reality in your body, the mind will automatically work to make it come true. You'll notice yourself acting differently, enjoying masturbation more.
It might feel silly, because you probably won't believe it yet. That's fine, it'll come in time. Begin every morning with your affirmation and say it throughout the day (whisper if you don't want to be heard). Say it while you're masturbating to remind yourself why you're doing it.
This may seem overwhelming at first, and it won't happen overnight. You'll benefit most if you pair mind AND body healing at the same time. In time the guilt and shame you feel over female masturbation will evaporate, and you'll be left with a better sex life overall.
Are you looking for honest, raw, and unfiltered sex tips and relationship advice? Read about transforming your sex life through female masturbation at Kelsey Education
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