What is attraction? It is basically the chemistry between men and women. When someone feels attraction to another, it is likely that nothing else really matters. If someone is not attracted to another, then the same thing applies, still nothing else matters. What does this mean? It means that true attraction does not come from being physically attractive, being rich or famous, or being the right age. True attraction is something different.
Attraction is a strong emotion. It is a combination of emotions that causes a person to want to pay attention to another. We seem to learn about it as children and then we become confused about it as adults.
Remember when you were a child and someone teased you in order to get your attention? Perhaps they threw something at you and laughed. Or maybe you poke someone gently on someone's arm and then looked away, pretending that it was not you who made the mark. Or someone tapped you on the shoulder and then ran away. Those were all playful teases that made us pay attention to the other person. Guess what! In most cases those teasing gestures likely made us attracted enough to play the game further.
Attraction between adults is the same as with childern although you probably cannot use the same teases as you did as a child. Teasing with humor is an excellent way to attract the other person's attention and gain their interest. When the technique is done well it calls up several emotions. It tells the other person that you are different from the ordinary others. It also presents a challenge that the other person will react to and not ignore. And it causes laughter, which makes the brain and the body react in positive ways, and tells the other person that there is an opportunity to have fun.
The key to this basic attraction is to tease or flirt. However it has to be done properly. The most important part is to have fun. To attract, you need to properly balance the tease and fun. If the comment is too cocky or does not include humor, then it will be seen as arrogance. On the other hand, if a person spends too much time joking and being funny, then they will be seen as being just goofy. It's important that the humor be there to balance the provocative comment or action.
To attract properly, the teasing with humor technique involves making a provocative comment in a humorous way. For example, a guy pretends not to pay much attention to a woman by not looking at her directly. He says, "I think you might have spent too much time on your hair." The body language and the comment are provocative and teasing, but rather cold and humorless. Now imagine the same body language with the comment, "I think if you had spent any more time with your hair, it would qualify as a career." Then he looks at her squarely. "Though the result is good. I have to admit that I normally don't date women who are so full of themselves." Then he cracks a smile.
That combination of teasing body language and verbal comment with a friendly poking-fun kind of humor will often create a strong attraction in the other person. The guy seems provocative, different, challenging, and perhaps fun. It is these emotions that are the heart of attraction.
If the attraction process was successful, then the woman will tease back. She may make a teasing comment or a flirtatious flip of the hair and turn of the chin. Guess what, the chemistry of attraction has started.
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