Creating Intimacy with 3 Simple Games
I am not talking about playing Monopoly or Scrabble together (they usually create more friction then intimacy) but rather simple games where you devote 15-30 minutes of uninterrupted attention to each other. These games allow each partner to communicate his/her needs or emotions without having to dredge up all the past hurts and betrayals or spend hours psychoanalyzing the who, what, when, where and whys. Simple and easy yet deeply profound these games will bring you closer together each time you use them.
Game One
Holding Hands- Yes holding hands and taking a walk together seems so easy but this one has two twists, one of you is blindfolded and there is no speaking. Each partner takes a turn leading the other one around while they are blindfolded. Without speaking you both tune into each others bodies and the subtle form of body communication. This game is best played where there is level ground and not too many other people around, a busy New York City street is not the best place to try this out. This basic game of trust will follow through into other aspects of your life together.
Game Two
Feelings- Sitting across from each other looking into each others eyes you will take turns telling the feeling you are having in that moment. Just the feeling, nothing more then one word like Happy, Sad, Empty, Sexy, Angry etc. Listen to your partners feeling then take a deep breath and tell them yours and repeat for at least 15 minutes. It is amazing the thousands of emotions you will have in 15 minutes. This also allows you to see the repetitive patterns you go into with your partner when you think that it’s their fault you feel a certain way. A nice way to communicate deeply without paying for a shrink.
Game Three
The Ah Breath- This game comes from Stephen and Ondrea Levine a couple who have been doing relationship work for many many many years. The Ah breath starts with one person laying down comfortably and breathing. Just breathing, nothing more, nothing less. The other person sits facing them and follows their breathing. With each out breath the sitting partner makes an audible Ah sound. By breathing your partners breath you can access their emotional states. By trusting your partner to breath your breath you create an instant intimacy. This is the most meditative and probably most profound of the 3 games and should be done as often as possible.
These games are not just limited to your partner but can be played with anyone you want to create a deeper bond with. They can be done practically anywhere and at anytime. Pick one out and give it a try.
Abbey Nicholson runs couples, yoga and spa retreats in a chateau in France.
Visit www.amovingspa.com for more info
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