It took you a lot of time as well as hard work. You had to be sneaky about it but your efforts paid off. Much to your dismay because in the final analysis you wanted desperately to be proven wrong about your spouse.
Now the truth is out and you have to deal with the fact that your spouse is having an extramarital affair. You are riding an emotional roller coaster right now. One minute you are angry due to the lies and betrayal. The next minute totally bewildered. It is just incomprehensible that the person you exchanged marriage vows with has now decided to destroy the relationship.
This is the moment that you have to be very careful when dealing with you. The nagging question as to why your significant other decided to cheat can push you in a lot of directions while at the same time make you quite vulnerable.
In particular you may feel the need to do some self examination. Why did they have in affair can easily turn into what did you do wrong to make them have them affair
Naturally you did not make them do it but the emotional strain of it can have you carrying plenty of the guilt.
If only you had a different attitude about that time they wanted to go to the Bahamas but you wanted to go somewhere else.
If only you had listened a little bit more that your significant other hinted that something was wrong in the way you two communicated.
If only you had said yes instead of no the time they wanted to go to a party.
None of these would probably have made the difference either way. If you had done everything right they would have moved the goal post on you. In other words any excuse to have an affair would suffice.
That is why it is important to not go too far with the self examination. Doing so leaves an opening for your significant other to not only put a lot of the squarely on you but dump the whole thing in your lap.
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