"Maintain a Healthy Relationship With Your Child" is the title of the very first "lesson" in Michelle’s book 25 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR CHILD HEALTHY AND SUCCESSFUL – Lessons from a School Counsellor. If I had to choose one of Michelle’s Lessons to describe her work with parents and children over the past 20 years, I would say that this one says it all. It is the cornerstone to her work as presented in her book as well as on her website: found at www.parentonpurpose.com.
Today Michelle and her husband Tom provide coaching, counselling, and educational services through their website and through teleseminars as well as other products aimed at helping individuals and families be the best they can be.
Back to the emphasis on Maintaining a Healthy Relationship with your child. Sounds simple right, but not always easy to do. Michelle emphasizes many of the basics and reminds us of the critical role we play in our children’s lives, the development of who they are and will become, and their ultimate success not only in school but in life. And she comes at this from the unique vantage point of an experienced school counselor who has observed and worked with children in one of their primary settings – school.
Michelle begins by reaffirming for us that as parents, we are the most powerful influence in our child’s life. This is a responsibility that cannot be taken lightly and it’s important that we recognize that it does take a considerable amount of time and energy – as it should. For many of us in today’s world, with the hectic pace, multiple jobs, commuting, endless activities and commitments, just making time is a big responsibility but it is absolutely critical.
Our children see the world through our eyes, at least for a time, and so we have the opportunity to help them experience a world in which they learn how to trust, feel safe, secure and good about themselves and others – in general optimistic about life and the possibilities it holds for them.
Michelle emphasizes the importance of inculcating trust in your child at a young age. By being present with them, both physically and emotionally, being consistent with our own behavior, by being available to them when they require help, comfort or safety and by giving them validation through positive feedback and recognition, they learn to trust that others around them can be relied on and can be sought out for help when they need it.
We are their introduction to the world, so by instilling confidence in them, by being in good relationships with them, we give them the skills and confidence to reach out to others and be in healthy relationships. Without that foundation of trust, kids learn early on that they world is an uncaring and unsafe place, they don’t seek the support of others such as teachers that could support them in reaching their goals, and they have more difficulty in forming friendships and intimate relationships as they get older.
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The Author...
Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW, writes regularly for www.Blended-Families.com. Sign up for their free step families parenting advice newsletter. WEBMASTERS: Use of this article requires a link to remain intact.
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