Humor can be originated where least likely. Headstone epitaphs, for
example, can be astonishingly funny. Many epitaphs are accidentally,
and sometimes, deliberately, amusing. They provide us the different view
angles toward the death.
On a lawyer:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest man.
And that is Strange.
On a grave digger:
Hooray my brave boys.
Lets rejoice at his fall.
For if he had lived.
He would have buried us all.
On a Coal-miner.
Gone Underground For Good
On an Architect:
Here lies Robert Trollope.
Who made yon stones roll up.
When death took his soul up.
His body filled this hole up.
On an attorney:
Goembel.
John E.
1867-1946.
'The defense rests'
On a dentist:
Stranger tread.
This ground with gravity.
Dentist Brown.
Is filling his last cavity.
On a Painter:
A Finished Artist.
On an Auctioneer:
Jedediah Goodwin.
Auctioneer.
Born 1828.
Going!
Going!!
Gone!!!
1876.
On a waiter:
Here lies the body of
Detlof Swenson.
Waiter.
God finally caught his eye.
April 10, 1902
On an Author:
He Has Written Finis
On a teacher:
Professor S. B. McCracken.
School is out.
Teacher
Has gone home.
On a traveling salesman:
My Trip is Ended:
Send My Samples Home
On a spinster postmistress:
Returned--Unopened
Arthur C. Homan's epitaph:
Once I wasn't
Then I was
Now I ain't again.
On an accident victem:
I'll find the witness here.
On an immigration officer
The truth is: All people will be immigrant after all.
On a wife
Here lies my wife
Here let her lie
Now she has peace
And so do I
On a wife
She lived with her husband fifty years
And died in the confident hope of a better life.
On a wife
Here lies my wife.
Tears cannot bring her back.
Therefore I cry!
On a wife
She always said her feet were killing her
On a businessman
I made a lot of deals in life, but I went in the hole on this one
On a busy man
I'm a busy man, I don't have time for this
On an old maid
1787 - Jones - 1855
Here lie the bones of Sophie Jones;
For her death held no terrors.
She was born a maid and died a maid.
No hits, no runs, and no heirs.
On an old maid
Beneath this silent stone is laid
A noisy, antiquated maid,
Who from her cradle talked to death,
And never before was out of breath.
Here lies, returned to clay
Miss Arabella Young,
Who on the eleventh day of May
Began to hold her tongue.
1794-1863
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
From: MonumentsUSA
Read More From Thomas Cui
|
